Yes, readers, I have been tagged again. The good part is this gives me an excuse to write when I can be working instead. Well, the bosses shouldn't have let me work from home then, now should they have?
So keeping deadlines and decks aside, here is what I have to say for myself (rules for the next lot to follow this bit):
11 things you ought to know about me
1. I have always been a fat kid. Tortured, bullied for it and lived life pretty much miserably. No mutations into swanhood happened during the teenage either. Through aerobics, I had a happy, slim twenties and now back to displaying all signs of prosperity. Yes, I have finally come to deal with living with my belly - the bane of my existence.
2. I'm a mess. No matter how wonderfully organised I am at work, there's just nothing I can do about the mess at home. I look at the clutter and look away, hoping it hasn't seen me notice it and doesn't give me a guilt trip about its neglected existence. Luckily, I can always blame the mess on my dogs.
3. I hate non fiction. I have tried very, very hard to read non fiction. Unless it's an autobiography of someone fascinating (like Mein Kampf) I'm kilometres away from it. Give me the funny literature, any day.
4. I'm a sucker for stand up. I just can't get enough of stand up comedians. Of course, they have to be amazing, like George Carlin or Bill Hicks.
5. My secret shame is that I learned to ride a scooter before I learned to ride a bicycle - and all this done only in my mid twenties. I never took off my training wheels, as a child.
6. I take misanthropy way too far. Not that I'm out buying guns and killing little kids or anything, but I am terribly people phobic. Perhaps I am becoming what they call 'uptight'?
7. As a work from homer, I brush my teeth only on special occasions. Haha. And you thought technology was going to improve lives.
8. I liked Gangnam Style.
9. I hate making lists about myself.
10. Why eleven things, anyway?
11. I hate numerology.
Ok, now that we're done with that (dusts off hands), let's move on to some of the questions:
Your pet-name / nick-name
Mini, through college. And Love, after that.
Your celebrity crush
Johnny Depp
Your favourite book
How does one choose just one? Catch 22 by Joseph Heller, I guess.
Who was your favourite teacher
Ugh. Teachers should be shot (of course, America's already way ahead of us on that one).
Which dish can you cook best
Some version of a sambar that you would not find in traditional households.
Your idea of a dream-date
Sitting curled up by a fire (in a cold country, of course. Imagine having a fire blazing in the hearth while you're in Chennai or something. You'd probably have to have a snowmachine installed just to give you a reason for the fireplace) with a book and my dogs lying next to me. No men, no other person, I'm quite happy with myself. No masturbation, either, if that's what you're thinking.
Should cricket be banned in India
Why not? So many books are, there's hardly any freedom of speech... and cricket's just a game. Of course, with the amount being minted by BCCI, there definitely isn't going to be a ban.
Rajni or Kamal
Rajini for the kicks. Kamal is a fine actor and there's are enough of those around if you care to look; Rajini on the other hand is a harmless source of corny entertainment and we need that every once in a while.
The one possession that you would like to save if your house were on fire!
Nothing. It can all just burn, frankly.
Love marriage ya arranged marriage!
No marriage!
If you had the power to give one tight slap to three people - who would they be?
Just three?? Why?! 11 things about myself and just three people to slap? Damned numerology...
I'd like to tag Bill (if you're reading this). Please feel free to give your own twist on this daft little exercise. Here are your questions:
1. If given a choice to rid the world of children and bring about a zombie apocalypse, which of the two would you choose and why?
2. What is your take on the Gulf uprising? Do you really think some of them were genuine, or were all of them backed by the West? Why do you think all of those countries suddenly realised what a sorry state they were in, all at the same time?
3. If given the opportunity to own a gun, your choice of handgun, while living in India, with minimal hassle/paperwork/waiting period would you?
4. If you could have chosen the country/city of your birth (not to be born as an Indian, but as a person of that country), which would it have been?
5. How often do you visit a dentist, yourself?
6. What in your opinion, would be a most effective deterrent to crimes against women in India?
7. Which seems to be more just towards the people whose lands they have colonised: the British empire or the American empire?
8. Which is your favourite book?
9. How many more books do you plan to publish?
10. Any new tattoos you're planning? What's the total on them right now? With pictures, please.
11. Which is the finest meal you ever had?
Ok, I'm done. My duty to society is complete. Thank you for watching.
So keeping deadlines and decks aside, here is what I have to say for myself (rules for the next lot to follow this bit):
11 things you ought to know about me
1. I have always been a fat kid. Tortured, bullied for it and lived life pretty much miserably. No mutations into swanhood happened during the teenage either. Through aerobics, I had a happy, slim twenties and now back to displaying all signs of prosperity. Yes, I have finally come to deal with living with my belly - the bane of my existence.
2. I'm a mess. No matter how wonderfully organised I am at work, there's just nothing I can do about the mess at home. I look at the clutter and look away, hoping it hasn't seen me notice it and doesn't give me a guilt trip about its neglected existence. Luckily, I can always blame the mess on my dogs.
3. I hate non fiction. I have tried very, very hard to read non fiction. Unless it's an autobiography of someone fascinating (like Mein Kampf) I'm kilometres away from it. Give me the funny literature, any day.
4. I'm a sucker for stand up. I just can't get enough of stand up comedians. Of course, they have to be amazing, like George Carlin or Bill Hicks.
5. My secret shame is that I learned to ride a scooter before I learned to ride a bicycle - and all this done only in my mid twenties. I never took off my training wheels, as a child.
6. I take misanthropy way too far. Not that I'm out buying guns and killing little kids or anything, but I am terribly people phobic. Perhaps I am becoming what they call 'uptight'?
7. As a work from homer, I brush my teeth only on special occasions. Haha. And you thought technology was going to improve lives.
8. I liked Gangnam Style.
9. I hate making lists about myself.
10. Why eleven things, anyway?
11. I hate numerology.
Ok, now that we're done with that (dusts off hands), let's move on to some of the questions:
Your pet-name / nick-name
Mini, through college. And Love, after that.
Your celebrity crush
Johnny Depp
Your favourite book
How does one choose just one? Catch 22 by Joseph Heller, I guess.
Who was your favourite teacher
Ugh. Teachers should be shot (of course, America's already way ahead of us on that one).
Which dish can you cook best
Some version of a sambar that you would not find in traditional households.
Your idea of a dream-date
Sitting curled up by a fire (in a cold country, of course. Imagine having a fire blazing in the hearth while you're in Chennai or something. You'd probably have to have a snowmachine installed just to give you a reason for the fireplace) with a book and my dogs lying next to me. No men, no other person, I'm quite happy with myself. No masturbation, either, if that's what you're thinking.
Should cricket be banned in India
Why not? So many books are, there's hardly any freedom of speech... and cricket's just a game. Of course, with the amount being minted by BCCI, there definitely isn't going to be a ban.
Rajni or Kamal
Rajini for the kicks. Kamal is a fine actor and there's are enough of those around if you care to look; Rajini on the other hand is a harmless source of corny entertainment and we need that every once in a while.
The one possession that you would like to save if your house were on fire!
Nothing. It can all just burn, frankly.
Love marriage ya arranged marriage!
No marriage!
If you had the power to give one tight slap to three people - who would they be?
Just three?? Why?! 11 things about myself and just three people to slap? Damned numerology...
I'd like to tag Bill (if you're reading this). Please feel free to give your own twist on this daft little exercise. Here are your questions:
1. If given a choice to rid the world of children and bring about a zombie apocalypse, which of the two would you choose and why?
2. What is your take on the Gulf uprising? Do you really think some of them were genuine, or were all of them backed by the West? Why do you think all of those countries suddenly realised what a sorry state they were in, all at the same time?
3. If given the opportunity to own a gun, your choice of handgun, while living in India, with minimal hassle/paperwork/waiting period would you?
4. If you could have chosen the country/city of your birth (not to be born as an Indian, but as a person of that country), which would it have been?
5. How often do you visit a dentist, yourself?
6. What in your opinion, would be a most effective deterrent to crimes against women in India?
7. Which seems to be more just towards the people whose lands they have colonised: the British empire or the American empire?
8. Which is your favourite book?
9. How many more books do you plan to publish?
10. Any new tattoos you're planning? What's the total on them right now? With pictures, please.
11. Which is the finest meal you ever had?
Ok, I'm done. My duty to society is complete. Thank you for watching.
2 comments:
1. If given a choice to rid the world of children and bring about a zombie apocalypse, which of the two would you choose and why?
Let’s see. A zombie apocalypse would be probably the least threatening danger the human race has ever faced. I mean, just wait and let the bacteria decay them to nonexistence. As soon as the muscles decompose, they can’t even move! Whereas getting rid of kids will make the human race extinct and therefore has my entire approval.
2. What is your take on the Gulf uprising? Do you really think some of them were genuine, or were all of them backed by the West? Why do you think all of those countries suddenly realised what a sorry state they were in, all at the same time?
At the time the “Arab Spring” started, I noted that Libya and Syria weren’t affected by the “demonstrations” – and, magically coincidentally, these were secular nations with socialist (relatively) governments not dependent on Western approval. And, you know that when “rebellions” started there, it was the jihad gangs which led them, and they had the immediate and complete support of the West. There’s something less than wholesome about the entire exercise. Even if the rebellions had started spontaneously in most Arab nations, they were speedily subverted by Western interests to suit their own agendas. Quite predictably, too.
3. If given the opportunity to own a gun, your choice of handgun, while living in India, with minimal hassle/paperwork/waiting period would you?
I have pondered this question, and the answer is no. Using it would be too great a temptation in situations where I felt threatened or lost my temper.
4. If you could have chosen the country/city of your birth (not to be born as an Indian, but as a person of that country), which would it have been?
Possibly New Zealand. At least they’re the least toxic nation I can think of. Minimal racism, great care for the environment, and they don’t join in imperialist actions unlike Australia.
5. How often do you visit a dentist, yourself?
Whenever I need to. I keep a keen watch over my teeth, of course. Actually, I can manage minor dental care myself, with the aid of my assistant.
6. What in your opinion, would be a most effective deterrent to crimes against women in India?
If the perpetrators are North Indians, castration including penectomy. North Indians are incredibly hung up about penis size. Removing the penis would be a fate worse than death for them. I don’t know much about South Indian psychology.
7. Which seems to be more just towards the people whose lands they have colonised: the British empire or the American empire?
The Americans, undoubtedly are less unjust (I won't say "more just")than the Brits were. Compared to them, the British were far, far viler. The Americans only want your money. The Brits wanted your hearts, souls and anything else they could get out of you.
8. Which is your favourite book?
If I have to put a single name forward, it would be “Quiet Flows The Don” by Mikhail Sholokhov (the unexpurgated two-volume edition).
9. How many more books do you plan to publish?
In paper form? None. Anything I write in future will be released in e-format.
10. Any new tattoos you're planning? What's the total on them right now? With pictures, please.
Pictures will be (re)posted sometime. I have three, all dragons; one on each upper arm and one on my left upper back. Not planning any more at the moment, but I may change my mind.
11. Which is the finest meal you ever had?
No idea, really. I’m not very food-oriented. I prefer snacks, especially cheese, to meals.
Well, that’s about it.
Hi Priya,
I gave your blog an award as well :) this is in honour of your humourous, witty and sarcasm-filled writing please put in the award pics as well:)
Good answers!
Keep writing :)
Cheers,
Mahesh
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