Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Tagged #2

Yes, readers, I have been tagged again. The good part is this gives me an excuse to write when I can be working instead. Well, the bosses shouldn't have let me work from home then, now should they have?

So keeping deadlines and decks aside, here is what I have to say for myself (rules for the next lot to follow this bit):

11 things you ought to know about me

1. I have always been a fat kid. Tortured, bullied for it and lived life pretty much miserably. No mutations into swanhood happened during the teenage either. Through aerobics, I had a happy, slim twenties and now back to displaying all signs of prosperity. Yes, I have finally come to deal with living with my belly - the bane of my existence.

2. I'm a mess. No matter how wonderfully organised I am at work, there's just nothing I can do about the mess at home. I look at the clutter and look away, hoping it hasn't seen me notice it and doesn't give me a guilt trip about its neglected existence. Luckily, I can always blame the mess on my dogs.

3. I hate non fiction. I have tried very, very hard to read non fiction. Unless it's an autobiography of someone fascinating (like Mein Kampf) I'm kilometres away from it. Give me the funny literature, any day.

4. I'm a sucker for stand up. I just can't get enough of stand up comedians. Of course, they have to be amazing, like George Carlin or Bill Hicks.

5. My secret shame is that I learned to ride a scooter before I learned to ride a bicycle - and all this done only in my mid twenties. I never took off my training wheels, as a child.

6. I take misanthropy way too far. Not that I'm out buying guns and killing little kids or anything, but I am terribly people phobic. Perhaps I am becoming what they call 'uptight'?

7. As a work from homer, I brush my teeth only on special occasions. Haha. And you thought technology was going to improve lives.

8. I liked Gangnam Style.

9. I hate making lists about myself.

10. Why eleven things, anyway?

11. I hate numerology.

Ok, now that we're done with that (dusts off hands), let's move on to some of the questions:

Your pet-name / nick-name
Mini, through college. And Love, after that.

Your celebrity crush
Johnny Depp

Your favourite book
How does one choose just one? Catch 22 by Joseph Heller, I guess.

Who was your favourite teacher
Ugh. Teachers should be shot (of course, America's already way ahead of us on that one).

Which dish can you cook best
 Some version of a sambar that you would not find in traditional households.

Your idea of a dream-date
Sitting curled up by a fire (in a cold country, of course. Imagine having a fire blazing in the hearth while you're in Chennai or something. You'd probably have to have a snowmachine installed just to give you a reason for the fireplace) with a book and my dogs lying next to me. No men, no other person, I'm quite happy with myself. No masturbation, either, if that's what you're thinking.

Should cricket be banned in India
Why not? So many books are, there's hardly any freedom of speech... and cricket's just a game. Of course, with the amount being minted by BCCI, there definitely isn't going to be a ban.

Rajni or Kamal
Rajini for the kicks. Kamal is a fine actor and there's are enough of those around if you care to look; Rajini on the other hand is a harmless source of corny entertainment and we need that every once in a while.

The one possession that you would like to save if your house were on fire!
 Nothing. It can all just burn, frankly.

Love marriage ya arranged marriage!
No marriage!

If you had the power to give one tight slap to three people - who would they be?
 Just three?? Why?! 11 things about myself and just three people to slap? Damned numerology...

I'd like to tag Bill (if you're reading this). Please feel free to give your own twist on this daft little exercise. Here are your questions:

1. If given a choice to rid the world of children and bring about a zombie apocalypse, which of the two would you choose and why?
2. What is your take on the Gulf uprising? Do you really think some of them were genuine, or were all of them backed by the West? Why do you think all of those countries suddenly realised what a sorry state they were in, all at the same time?
3. If given the opportunity to own a gun, your choice of handgun, while living in India, with minimal hassle/paperwork/waiting period would you?
4. If you could have chosen the country/city of your birth (not to be born as an Indian, but as a person of that country), which would it have been?
5. How often do you visit a dentist, yourself?
6. What in your opinion, would be a most effective deterrent to crimes against women in India?
7. Which seems to be more just towards the people whose lands they have colonised: the British empire or the American empire?
8. Which is your favourite book?
9. How many more books do you plan to publish?
10. Any new tattoos you're planning? What's the total on them right now? With pictures, please.
11. Which is the finest meal you ever had?

Ok, I'm done. My duty to society is complete. Thank you for watching.

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