Some presents you might want to avoid this holiday season

It might be a bit too late to post this seeing as the holidays are over, but after having got an annoyingly useless bunch of gifts from my secret Santa, I realised it was about time someone made a guide for this sort of thing. Consider it an early warning, then.

1. Say no to the plain Jane photo frame
Now tell me this - in this digital age who really uses photo frames anymore? You can't expect someone to go all the way to the photo shop just to pay for a print to put into your cheap little half hearted gift, now can you? A digital album is more up our alley if photos are what you want us to display.

2. Teddy terrors
This one's pretty simple, really. Don't ever buy an adult a stuffed animal! I mean, what am I, 2?! Unless it's a giant sized angry bird plush doll, don't even bother.

3. What's to show
Nothing says 'I never think about you' like a show piece does. What is the purpose of that fake porcelain bird now really? I'd rather put a signed copy of any Kurt Vonnegut up for display on my shelf, any day.

4. If it's not branded, don't bother
Look, I really appreciate you buying me a watch. It says a lot. It says that I'm never on time for anything, that I can't afford one of my own and that I have crappy taste. But at least buy me a Swatch, not some obscure brand that you know I know was made somewhere near China.

5. When all else fails, buy a gift card
Really? It wasn't enough my guessing at how little you shelled out on me this year that you actually had to put it in print for me? Literally? Unless you're willing to hand me a voucher for Rs 5000 or more, I'd suggest you put your money where my mouth is and take me out for a nice lunch or dinner instead. At least I'd complain less with my mouth full of food.

Of course, the ideal gifts are always an android smartphone ( worth between Rs 15k - 35k), if not an iPhone; an iPad or it's Samsung equivalent; a brand new car; a diamond pendant or a Labrador puppy. Can't put a price on love, now can you.