Being Joyless

... when did you become so joyless?

- American Beauty 

I'm starting to wonder that myself. I remember when I wasn't afraid to stand up to people and sound out my views. I remember a time when I would look forward to the next day; to the sunshine and the music and the million other little joys that made my day. I remember looking out for the underappreciated and doing my bit to make them feel good. But more and more I find myself cynical and depressed. I can't stand the mornings, I just want to crawl back into bed. I don't like dressing up or going out. These days I don't even bother to turn on the music.

You know, I've even forgotten why I struggled so hard to be 'free'. Free to live your life the way you want to? But where's the joy in that? Freedom is overrated. Maybe I should move to China.