Colombo

(Note: These are the chronicles of my recent visit to Colombo. Please note that all views are my own and I don't give a lion's ass if you disagree with any of them. It was written while I was in Colombo so if you see a 'here' or a grammatical error, the former refers to Colombo and the latter was probably done because I was drunk on Lion Stout. I love you, Rajapakse.)

The Srilankans are a jovial bunch; they do not tire to guide the lost foreigner (without looting them (yes, we Indians were 'foreigners' there!)) and practically ran to assist us at every turn. The value of the Indian rupee is doubled here and it certainly makes the food and fare seem a lot cheaper.

(An aside from Amit, who accompanied me on this trip: Autodrivers (the three wheelers seen on Indian roads, called autorickshaws, are called Tuk Tuks here) apparently do loot foreigners just like their Indian counterparts; in fact you should probably ask a local what the fare ought to be and decide on with the driver before you board the vehicle.)

Today (refers to day 3 of our week-long visit), we went to a four star hotel called Mount Lavinia. Mount Lavinia is the name of the beach here, named after the local mistress of the colonial governor. The hotel has been built where the governor's holiday home once stood and is reminiscent of colonial times, right down to the uniforms of their staff. It is strange that the Srilankans have not shrugged off their colonial memories; nor have they embraced their neighbours. Indian cigarettes are nowhere to be found. The local shops only stock the INR 200+ (400 in Srilankan rupees) John Player's Gold Leaf (which is as foreign as they come) and even the alcohol is not Indian. The beers are Srilankan, thankfully enough, with Lion being the brand of choice. I have come to love the Stout, which is their dark beer. It tastes much better than their lager, or even their strong (not like our Kingfisher). It looks like Coke and tastes like beer; how awesome is that.

The weather here is clammy and warm but cools with a bit of rain. If you're sitting by the beach in the shade, you'll definitely find it pleasant. On the beach tonight, we were drawn to two guys playing some music using what appeared to be some local instruments. On closer look, we found that they were tapping at water cans and a beer crate with a set of chopsticks (they were the waiters from the restaurant, hence the chopsticks), but the music was so entertaining that we sat and listened to them for a while. Apparently, that was their way of enjoying their day off and they recommended some more places we could visit. In India, you don't find many people who will even give you the time of day (and you definitely won't find them in Bangalore).

Colombo appears to be filled with Srilankans who have family overseas, and that's how they can afford the good life. The supermarkets are stocked with brands that I have seen before only during my childhood in the Gulf; brands that are still not available in India unless you are willing to pay a hefty price.

Local industry here is non existent. Which somewhat stirs a tiny bit of patriotic pride in me, since India managed to build up a lot of its own industry in its attempts at 'swadeshi'. Of course we are all outrivalled by Japan in that sphere.

I find that people here are poor speakers of English; is this to blame on the educational system or the fact that they were ravaged by war? You find a lot of people here still bristling with anger towards the LTTE and brimming with pride at the mention of Mahinda Rajapakse's name. During the reign of terror the LTTE had enforced, so one lady told us, people who left their homes were scarce expected to return. Now, of course, it is a different scene. While you do see civil policemen at every turn, charming and friendly, the Srilankans are enjoying a peaceful time now and owe it all to their president. I read last week that emergency rule had finally been lifted there - another thing they have to be proud of.

The entire trip was very, in fact, extremely, cost effective. I spent in Srilanka in one week, what we normally spend in India during the weekend. The flight tickets were obscenely low priced; we boarded at Chennai. The flying time was just 55 minutes so we hardly had time to munch through our plane dessert by the time we had to prepare for landing. We didn't even have to go through any visa formalities at any point of time. Since the value of the Indian rupee is more than doubled there, everything seemed ridiculously cheap so I splurged but still had enough left over upon my return. Of course, I didn't really find much to shop for there so I mainly spent on duty free JD (which was ridiculously cheap, again!).

We had a happy time in Srilanka. People were so friendly towards us, no one treated us like a terrorist and the immigration officials were only too happy to let us in (Indians do not require a visa to Srilanka if it's a short stay). Once we landed back in India, of course, we were back to yelling at the airport officials that we were true citizens who'd been there for a holiday, arguing with wretched autodrivers whose only attempt was to fleece us for every dime, and being treated like terrorists just for breathing in front of a cop. It took a month for my Srilankan hangover to completely wear off.

This is a recommended destination for the world weary curmudgeon. Just go; don't even stop to plan it.