Bacon Outlawed in Bahrain

First, read this. 

In a bid to emulate other noble dictatorships and fundamentalist governments, the Kingdom of Bahrain has decided to enforce a ban on pork. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't from Bahrain and intend on frequently visiting the place and feasting on my mother's sorpotel and vindaloo. 

Apparently, we have this wonderful set of MPs who go about creating fucked up rules, all in the name of Islam. Now anyone who knows more about Bahrain other than it being 'somewhere near Saudi and Dubai, no?' and my personal favourite 'do you have to wear a burqa when you go there?' knows how liberal society in Bahrain. In Bahrain, you can glug your beer while your Kuwaiti counterparts look on with envy, watch movies your Saudi counterparts might be arrested for being in possession of and enjoy hanging out with female Bahraini colleagues dressed in ways their Saudi counterparts daren't even desire. We've always enjoyed the rock (and other tasteless music) concerts, pubs, discotheques, wild parties that end at 5am, ham and pork that you can buy at your regular hypermart and to sum up, WE LIVED IT UP. Back then. Of course, now, in the pretend-democracy that Bahrain recently became, freedom has been rapidly diminishing. 

It all started with so-called Bahrainisation, in which they tried to oust as many expatriates as possible so as to give their jobs to the locals. Kind of what Obama is trying to do with America now. Then the Ministry of Information decided to block access to certain Web sites. Now, I don't really know the details of that but I do know that access was restricted to sites considered "offensive" and "pornographic". How is a person watching porn on the Internet any of a government's concern, I don't know. It might worry the parents of Internet surfing preteens, yes, the Chinese government, yes, the Indian government, no they're too busy watching it. Now they're trying to ban pork and alcohol. I'm wondering if Bahrain's going to be a little extension to Saudi Arabia. I wonder where the Saudis will go on the weekend now.

I tell you, I keep falling in love with India more and more each day. Even if they did get around to banning beef, pork and anything else the Brahmins dislike, there'd be a billion ways to still enjoy it. Internet freedom in India is only restricted on corporate networks; the Indian government's too busy squandering taxpayer money on lining their bellies to care what we read about, anyway (no, it has nothing to do with their love of human rights). And the pitiful attempts to ban alcohol in Chennai will fall flat on their faces once they realise they've driven the miserable little thread of tourists that come here (only to find there's nothing to see or do except get scorched in the blazing heat and get stared at by the eager leches) away. There go my plans of a relaxing break with the folks. Now what.

Destressing

Things I am not proud of:

• Sitting silently at the workplace and being treated like an idiot only so that they don't find out how smart I really am; I did that once and they never forgave me for it.
  
• Smiling at my bastard of a manager when I'd much rather be burying the heel of my stiletto into his forehead. Or maybe his heart, if he had one.
  
• Laying down my weapons simply because the morons won.
  
• Sticking onto a job at a place I hate only because the economy's so bad that I don't think I'll get another one that's better. That and the bloody two month notice period.

Is there a job out there that doesn't involve working with other people? Sigh.

Ra Ra Ra

The struggle, as it were, will remain with the women. They're the ones who will be at the receiving end of hate crimes, especially in our 'liberated' times.

We got a circular today which we were required to sign, asking us if we'd like to continue being served the swill at the canteen everyday or whether we'd rather receive the cash in hand. It also mentioned that if the cash alternative were opted for, it might be a hazard to employee safety as 'women who would be dining outside the office will have to be accompanied by male colleagues after 9pm'. Alright, yeah, I get it. Oh, don't hasten to explain. I know we're all capable of being raped and attacked during the wee hours, especially if one possesses a vagina.

Some intelligent, 'forward' women I know refuse to go to a pub and are planning on staying indoors on Valentine's day. They say they'd rather just not take a chance. Ok, no problem. Oh, you don't have to snort and say well let them then. Even if a pub gets raided it's not the men who'll be dragged out and stripped in public, no.

And if the men out there would much rather not give a fuck; would rather just shake their head and say, well there's plenty more suffering out there without us having to worry about where you'll have your next beer, that's ok then. Go stick your cigarette butt up at the Iron Maiden's concert this weekend but don't look around and wonder all the women went.

Get Those Chaddis Out

For all those who had their dusty drawers in the back of their closet for just such an occasion, here's the chance for you to smack it against Pramod Muthalik's face. For those who had their head in a bucket for the past two months, let me bring to light the women bashing incident that happened not so long ago in Mangalore, where ordinary college kids where dragged out of a pub and beaten up by members of the Ram Sena for having socialised with the opposite sex and consuming alcohol. And you thought your mom was bad.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, too, here's your chance to get your own bum, er, back at them. The Pink Chaddi Campaign is a consortium of "pubgoing, loose and forward" women that aims to send Muthalik a little Valentine's day gift: their underwear.

Check out their blog here:

http://thepinkchaddicampaign.blogspot.com/

For Chennai residents, here's the collection point in case you don't want to do the dirty deed yourself:

    The Shakti Center/ Corporate Accountability Desk,

    No: 42 A, I floor,5 Avenue,

    Besant Nagar,

    Chennai 600090
    Contact:

    Padma: 99400 25231,

    Jeny: 98403 98852,

    Aniruddh: 98840 17695
Last Date of Collection: 12 February

Send them in your panties, or photographic evidence that you've sent yours to the Ram Sena (address provided on their blog), and you can do more than just warm the air with a scented candle or two.

1067th Rock Song that Will Never be Sung

(and I've got the tune for it in my head, too, complete with bass effects.)

There's something inside of me

Trying to get out

Clawing at my insides

You all get away from me now

 

I've kept it in for so long

Trying to sing the same song

Knowing you'd walk away

Hoping you would just stay

 

I've fed it, bred it, felt its reign

As I tried to pretend I'm sane

Waiting for the time until

It would feel that final thrill

 

So stuff your mouth with sawdust

Wait for the rot to set in

I'm gonna come to get you

With the pain I've bred within

 

There's something inside of me

And I can see it getting out

Watch it run out of control

You can't get away from me now

For B

Ask him any topic in the world and he'll probably tell you ten facts about it that you wouldn't have even been able to gather after an hour's worth of googling. He claims to be mean and obtuse but melts when with his children - his everloving pets. His writings show a profundity of thought that few people in this world have; in this country, anyway. He loves bikes, hates kids and tolerates with great difficulty his 'specimens'. He's smart, suave and, ladies, still single. Well, kind of. Here's to you; may your kind live on!

Hollow Cost

My history is, admittedly, pathetically weak, but I do sit up and listen when someone with profound knowledge in the subject begins to speak.

After reading of Pope Benedict's latest goof up, I was intrigued as to why a statement made by some random bishop was broiled in such controversy. I was amazed to discover things I hadn't been aware of before. Namely, the subject of Holocaust denial.

Now, everybody who is anybody, including self, has heard of the Holocaust. You know, what Hitler and his band of merry men were so infamous for. Purging all the Jews from German territory, using all the means in their possession. Most of us have taken the Holocaust for granted. That tearful recollection of those dastardly times as penned in Anne Frank's diary, those pictures of Jews dying in horrifying concentration camps and being experimented upon and that number of them that was killed - six million! Those Nazis deserved their miserable end!

Indeed.

Now, a section of intelligent, independent thinkers, who'd followed all such historical accounts of the alleged genocide, found discrepancies in witness accounts. Photographs that appeared to have been faked. And they also found that the 'number' of Jews that died could not have been more than 300,000. Holocaust denial is banned in Germany today.

History, as promulgated by our history books, is not the most reliable account of events long past. There are, for instance, several genocides that are to-date denied by their respective governments. Most notable of which happens to be the Armenian genocide, which Turkey to this day does not recognise as having happened. But who gets taught that in schools, eh?

Then what of Hitler's regime, one might ask. Are you denying that he killed all those people in his attempts at ethnic cleansing? Of course I'm not. What we're forgetting here is that it was just Jews that were killed by the Nazis. It was all races of people that weren't the 'Aryans' or the 'chosen race'. It wasn't just the Jews who suffered during that time. Russians were targeted too, and so were Germans who were retarded or homosexual; anyone who was not 'perfect', was selectively rounded up for expulsion.

So who spread word that it was just the Jews who'd suffered and why? To protect their own interests. To get more sympathy and support for Israel. To ensure their supremacy over the Palestinians. Ok, enough of that. I'm not antisemitic. I'm just trying to get at the truth here.

So what did the bishop say that was so bad? He, apparently, not so subtly denied the Holocaust by saying that none of the 300,000 Jews that died during the Nazi reign were killed in gas chambers. Holocaust deniers also deny the existence of gas chambers in Nazi Germany. Now that I am not getting into. All I want to point out is that gas chambers were used for executions of prisoners in the United States of America as well. And it's only a slightly better way of dying (instantaneous and not with effects that remain for decades after) than having an atom bomb being dropped over your heads. Do I need to remind you of who did that to whom?

I DO NOT hate Jews. I DO NOT support the Nazis. So keep that in mind before you bristle with indignation. There are probably more important things in the world to focus on, than forcing a some bishop to cater to public opinion, wouldn't you think?

Only In Goa

Park your gilted ass here, please.