Why Babies Cry

"Will you quit yer bawling" yelled the harrassed-looking woman to the little baby crying its eyes out in the walker. The baby was silenced for a moment as it pondered what it ought to do next. It then viciously bit into the tail of the unsuspecting billy goat standing next to it, and resumed its wailing.
"There you've gone and got rid of the goat! I don't know why that father of yours spends so much money on you! First you poison the mockingbird, then you feed the horse the diamond ring and then you break the looking glass - and what a fine looking glass that was - and still your father goes out and buys you a goat! A stinking goat that was only good for eating up all my precious doilies. I thought I'd at least fatten it up for Easter, but that plan just ran out the door!
"He never buys me any of those fancy things. Think how good that diamond ring would've looked on my finger... Oh, now I hope he doesn't go and buy you a cart and bull like he'd promised; then we'll never get that fancy new car I keep nagging him to buy. You'd better keep your little trap shut or I'll scald you alive with this broth I'm cooking!"
The baby merely glared sullenly at the woman and attempted to sink its little teeth into the back of her leg but missed as she moved to turn down the stove.
"Honey, I'm home!" came a happy cry from the front door. As if on cue, the baby started to bawl.
"... and look what I've bought the young 'un..." he continued, in tune with a loud bellowing of what sounded suspiciously like a bull.