For B

Ask him any topic in the world and he'll probably tell you ten facts about it that you wouldn't have even been able to gather after an hour's worth of googling. He claims to be mean and obtuse but melts when with his children - his everloving pets. His writings show a profundity of thought that few people in this world have; in this country, anyway. He loves bikes, hates kids and tolerates with great difficulty his 'specimens'. He's smart, suave and, ladies, still single. Well, kind of. Here's to you; may your kind live on!