Crashes and Booms of 2008

Written for my corporate whorehouse's new management newsletter.
Microsoft releases another new patch for it's already overflawed software, more bombings happen in Iraq and Bush gets publicly insulted, yet again. Ho hum. Another year of cliches draws to a close.

The main highlight of the year was probably inflation going through the ceiling and the whole economic crisis - suddenly thousands of people around the world find themselves without a job. The spending frenzy has come to an end, along with the glory days of India, Inc. So Tata Motors is now in possession of two white elephants - Jaguar and Land Rover - also purchased in this year.

2009 was also the year of a series of terrorist attacks around the country. Jaipur in May, Bangalore and Ahmedabad in July, Assam in October and Mumbai in November. Not that security has improved much after all these attacks. It's amazing in a country that has seen so much of so-called development, that the ordinary citizen continues to leave his or her home every day not knowing if he or she will return intact. But India continues on, soon forgetting all about it and international cricket tours continue in Bangalore, Ahmedabad, Chennai and Mumbai as they always have. Ho hum.

The few good things that happened this year include the launch of India's very own contribution to lunar observation, Chandrayaan-1. This is extremely commendable coming from scientists who strived on, underfunded and ignored, but at least have their single-minded goals in sight - that of scientific research. We have a lot to learn from these distinguised gentlemen and ladies.

And let's not forget the election of Barack 'Yes We Can' Obama. Although he's already showing signs of following his predecessors by conveniently forgetting all promises made during his campaign, at least we now have hope of a better tomorrow, or at least 2009. And who said hope was a bad thing?

Book Review: Rainbow's End by Biswapriya Purkayastha

Ever wondered about the radical groups in existence all over India and in many parts of the world? Groups like the LTTE, the LeT and other not so well-known ones; what kind of people do they comprise? Surely only the most vile among us could be cold-blooded and heartless enough to join and support such organisations?

Would you like to know the uncomfortable truth instead?

Biswapriya Purkayastha (Bill, to friends) gives us a fictional account of a young man, not terribly unlike you or me, who, through various events in his life, decides to be part of one such militant organisation. Set in the northeastern part of India - from which the author too hails - the book revolves around the life of one Rollin Jethong, who belongs to the fictional Halka tribe. Facing increased pressure from people who are not native to the state, several of the youth have turned rebels and have formed the Halka People's Liberation Front (HPLF). He is well educated, comes from a good home and a caring family and just wants to find a job and be a success in life - dreams not unlike that which we all possess. However, he is thwarted at every turn by a world that seems bent on meting out the worst treatment to those who only seek acceptance. It seems as though it is impossible to secure a good job unless you are rich or well connected.

Several times, as he meets with disappointment after disappointment, Rollin is encouraged to join the HPLF by his cousin who is already part of it and who chants slogans at him every chance he gets. Rollin scoffs the idea, knowing that these people are merely brainwashed into believing their claims of liberating the Halka people from the encroachment of outsiders. But, somewhere along the line, the unfairness of life gets to him and this normal (still) and sane (still) individual decides to take up arms.

What follows is a glimpse of how militants such as these actually operate, their failures and sorrows and their futilities and hope. The author himself has researched and presented well the information given here and thrusts into the face of the reader the harsh realities of life; things we're not bound to think about when we read of the latest episode of bombing of villages or capture of militants flashed to us on our newscreens.

I'm not one for book reviews - reading or writing them - but this book truly deserved one. For copies of the book, you can contact the author at dockbillin@yahoo.co.in. But be nice.

Watch Out for the Priloza

I face a lot of crap from male motorists on the road, by virtue of being a female driver. Now, much as I hate female drivers, just like the rest of us, I don't consider myself to be too bad at driving. In fact, one year on the road has taught me a lot about what not to do. Like not ram my bike into men who were speaking to someone on their handsfree and not passing lewd comments at me. And not try to overtake a vehicle more than three times your vehicle's size from the right (some sort of CAT vehicle I believe).

So these days I don't even drive at 80. When I say drive, of course, I mean ride: my scooter. I maintain a cool 40, allowing male egotists to overtake me especially after I've managed to overtake them. I put it down to the theory of the deflation of their balls (testicles, for the stupid) by having been overtaken by a woman. And why must I begrudge them their reproductive abilities, eh?


I keep shut while they keep honking behind me, even if they're going even slower than I am and the road is packed anyway and there would be no way I could go forward or give them way unless my poor bike acquired aerodynamic abilities and flew. Several times, indeed, I would wish it did. Right into the face of the impatient bastard behind me.

I try not to overtake people. Of course, if it's some senile motorist going at 20, I have no choice. I most especially have no choice if the car in front of me insists on braking every 2 seconds. It's either overtake or go flying and this time, without the bike. For my part, I try to use the brake the least, choosing instead to reduce acceleration. Learn from me, people.

So all I ask is that when people want to suddenly come into my lane before me, when I'm already driving at a steady speed, just to take a left or a right is that they use their goddam indicators. But no. They'd rather crash into my lane, make me squeeze on my already overused brakes and then yell at me if their side mirror grazes against mine. AT LEAST MY QUICK THINKING SAVED US ALL FROM DYING IN A MANGLED MIX OF METAL AND FLESH YOU BASTARD!

But then, what do I know; I'm just a woman.

26

No thinner; perhaps fatter. No higher or lower in the job spectrum. Earning a fat sum, yes; but nowhere near the managerial/owning my own bmw dream. No, this was not what I'd envisioned for myself at twenty-six.

There's one thing I've gained on and that's definitely disillusionment. They should teach more of the morose poems at school. At least we'd know what we were in for later in life that way. Poems like ode on a grecian urn don't exactly tell us that it's the corporate backstabbing bitch who'll win at the end of the day even though you were right all along. Oops there I go sounding disillusioned again.

Also, there go the romantic dreams. It takes money to make your world go round, and a whole lot of it, too. So I'm nowhere nearer to that sole dream of owning a BMW and it doesn't look like I ever will unless I win a lottery (but then I don't buy lottery tickets) or some rich relative (who doesn't exist at the moment) suddenly crops up and leaves me all his/her wealth.

Right now all that exists is that 30 is getting awfully closer and it doth not look goode. Need to make babies fast before my eggs run out. I'm kidding.

So what ought one hope to achieve at 26? There are people my age who've achieved celebrity fame, who've gotten married and made babies, who've become managers, who've become rich; hell, at least some of them have left this goddam country. The only country I can hope to leave this one for is my country of origin and that day, hopefully draws ever nearer.