Put-Down Lines: For Managers

I hate those lame pick-up lines. People who sms/email them to me, please stop. Instead, read these: my new put-down lines; tailor-made for harassed corporate employees for use against their incompetent and ever-shallow managers. You read them here first. Most of them are lines I've actually used on my managers. Now you know why I never get promoted.

• I knew you were incompetent from the first time I set eyes on you.
• What other aspects of your job can I teach you today?
• Why are you paid more than me, again?
• When I first saw you, I said to myself - here comes another incompetent clown
• Your father must have been dyspeptic; no wonder you're full of gas
• Some days, when I close my eyes, I see you standing before me, crying because you are no longer with me.Those are good days.
• When I look into your eyes, I see the emptiness inside; how I wish you had a brain, too.

One day, our manager comes in and tells us how it's world environment day the next day and so we've to come in wearing something green. So I go, "Yeah good idea; why don't you wear a green shirt and a brown pair of trousers like a tree and we'll try to pot you outside the office or something?". Of course, he didn't hear the latter part of my sentence as he was so happy with my idea and immediately started to wonder if the green shirt and brown trousers he had at home were clean and pressed. I'm so glad I don't get promoted.