Dear Men I'm skimming past on matrimonial sites:
I'm really sorry I waited until I was 33 to finally decide to settle down. I know at 33 you are looking at 'brides aged within 25 preferred' and I wish you lots of luck with that. But I think I'll take my chances being too old for school ;)
I apologise for standing shoulder to shoulder to you in terms of my career and accomplishments. A lot of you seem to just want someone who can cook. Dang, I missed that boat there.
I'm forever in sorrow for listing myself truthfully as a light smoker. Definitely doesn't make it to your 'family values' list now does it :D
And lastly, at least have the grace to not outright look for someone who'll 'take care of me and my family'. It's a matrimonial ad not an ad for a full time housekeeper.